unTEACHABLE

Last year as I traveled, one thing my group and I did to pas the time was to ask each other about our least favorite words. Words like, Moist (Tammy 😂 ), Fleshy, Pussy, Gushy, etc...were several of the words that came out, often because of the way they sounded. But throughout the year, I was adamant that I didn't have a word that I didn't like...but looking back on it, and taking time to think about it the truth is I do have a word I don't like. And its not because of the way it sounds it because of how we use it, and what the word itself means. My least favorite world in the entire world is UNTEACHABLE. 

From the time I was little, I can remember hearing people telling kids, that they were stupid, that they were "retards" that they were unteachable. People like parent, teachers, pastors, etc...people that we as kids should be looking up to as examples of who we wanted to be in the future; but weren't setting an example that they should have been. 

There was a girl in my class who's brother had been told he was stupid and unteachable in the 3rd grade, and he believed it. Believed it so much that he didn't believe in himself, that he struggled through school, through college...that despite people telling him later on that he was worth it, it didn't seem to matter. He's graduated college now, he's got a life, but I know that he still doubts, that he still doesn't fully believe in himself, and you know how I know that...because that's how I feel. 

I've had people all my life question my ability to learn, to tell me that I'm not worth it, that I'm stupid, that I'm "unteachable" and it hurt. A lot of people don't know this, but I have a short in my brain that messes with my short term memory (I do have however, an amazing long term memory..as my friend Tammy put it one day an Elephant Memory)...that make it really hard for me to copy stuff off a board from a teacher, or notes from a textbook without missing full complete sentences. And trust me its frustrating. But what's more frustrating is having people question whether or not I'm trying, question whether  I really want to learn or not...I'm not a good test taker and I don't copy well...and yet I graduated high school, and I have a bachelor's degree in English Lit; and am headed back to school in a few months to get another degree. I've had to do it on my own though. 

My mom didn't believe in having me labeled. And that's okay. I get parents not wanting to label their kids with disabilities, but that's only okay if as a parent you acknowledge there is something is wrong and that they may need an alternative way of learning. For me, it meant in college printing off the professors power point and taking them to class to read and write my own note on as he/she taught; it meant letting teachers know that I needed a quiet space to take my tests where I could read the questions out-loud to process them. Everyone learns differently and that's okay.

My cousin, J, was dyslexic and people used to say he was unteachable. That they couldn't be bothered anymore. But the truth was J was an intelligent young man who needed a different way of learning. He hated to read, but it wasn't because he couldn't, it was because he 1)actually hated to read...and 2) yes he would invert and flip letters around..but he learned to like reading, because of movies...before he died he told me one of his favorite books was Harry Potter, and it's because he could watch the movie first then read the book and it helped him visualize what he was reading. Being dyslexic wasn't an excuse for J to not learn but it did mean finding a different way for him to learn.

The word Unteachable, absolutely drive me nuts. I know people who think that acknowledging that someone has a learning disability means that they are giving an excuse to their child not to learn....that is NOT the case. It may just mean having to get creative in teaching a child to learn. It may mean having to re-think how you raise your child. Not every child is the same, so the same methods aren't going to work with each child. 

I don't care who you are and what your beliefs are, but it is never okay to tell a child that they are a "retard," that they are "stupid" or that they are Unteachable...and its never okay to tell someone else in-front of that child that they are unteachable. God created each of us for a purpose, and tearing someone down, not having faith that there is a solution,  not being willing to work and be flexible with a child who may learn a differently is so not okay.

One of my biggest pet peeves about society these days is how we want to "fix" the broken adults. My thought on it is let help the children before they become that broken adult. I have no perfect solution to how to do this. But my first thought is lets take the un...out of UnTeachable...and let kids know that they are unTeachable. Lets stop tearing kids down through emotional and verbal abuse of calling them stupid, retards, and unteachable, and lets start building them up. Let them know when they do something right, praise them when they have a good day. Let them know it okay to fail, and that it's okay to do something wrong, but let them know most of all that they are loved, whether they learn the way you want them to or not.

So yes, UnTeachable is my least favorite word in the dictionary. Lets stop using it in reference to children and humans. A plant maybe unteachable in learning to talk, but a human...a child...we'll they're teachable...sometimes you just have to step out of the box and figure out what works best for them 

Below: Photos of Children around the World...

Out of the Darkness

So I've been back in the States for two weeks now, and wow has it been insane. I've pretty much been going non-stop since I landed in Miami on the 21st and it doesn't look like things are gonna slow down anytime soon for me.

I spent the week of Thanksgiving with my Mom and sister, Jo, and then headed to La Grande, Oregon( where I call home currently) on the 26th and started back at work and youth group on the 29th. Between work, church, youth group, and catching up with friends it just doesn't seem like there has been much down time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm home, but its been HARD being back and Exhausting. From readjusting to the West Coast time zone, to remembering I don't have to wear the same shirt three days in a row, to finding good quality quiet time...oh ya and I can flush the toilet paper, and what's that? Food I recognize...and so much more. I find myself easily getting upset by what people say..
for example, in the Miami airport I over heard someone saying how it wasn't fancy enough for them, and all I could think of was what's not fancy about this place...it's got A.C., running water, electricity, it has restaurants, free wifi, and so much more...how can they say this place isn't fancy.. and then on my flight from Chicago to Portland I found myself angry and upset at an ad on the in-flight television about a new drone that is being created to fly around third world countries to bring wifi to remote villages..all I could think  i get that wifi is a good thing to have, but don't people realize that WiFi isn't a necessity..no people need food, electricity, running water..people need hope; hell what the world needs is for people to give a damn, for people to care... and with that yes, adjusting home has been hard.

I find myself often wondering what my squad is up to; thinking about how I wish they were here to bounce ideas off, to keep me accountable for my quiet times, for how much time I spend on WiFi. I often wish I was back out on the field, wishing the World Race wasn't over yet, because that would be a simpler time. Simpler time...if you'd of asked me six months ago if I thought the World Race would be "simpler" than living back in the states I would have said you were nuts...sleeping on the ground easier than a bed, food I don't recognize or have eaten so much of I'm sick of it, not knowing if my clothes are gonna be dry or not before a travel day..no I would never have said that would be easier but now I wish for those days at times...deciding how often to do my laundry to keep up with cultural appropriateness on clean clothes, being in a living limbo for yet another month before moving into an apartment with friends, the cold (I miss the warmth of Argentina right now), trying to figure out what to do with my time when I do have free time; trying to find quality Jesus time, trying to figure out where I fit into and just always feeling exhausted

This last weekend, well Friday night/Saturday day I was home alone. Totally alone for about 24 hours, and when I got home from work..I sat down and thought about it and was like wow this is the first time in about 12 months I've been 100% guaranteed no interruptions alone and I'm too exhausted to enjoy it. I didn't want to do anything productive, I had no energy to watch a sermon, do a quiet time, read, pr even really watch a movie.....later that night I was Facebook Messaging a friend and had mentioned that it was the first time I was truly alone, and  he was like ENJOY IT...and I was like I'm too exhausted and that I hadn't really had time to process the race or had a good quiet time...and he was like we'll whats one thing you want to do and haven't done yet...and I was like find a a good spot to star gaze (its something I really got into while traveling this year) and he was like well  do it tomorrow and then I'll ask you about it tomorrow night. By this point of our conversation I was curled up in my bed watching a show on Netflix when I sat up paused it, and thought out loud why wait 'til tomorrow. I'm home alone now, I could just go out side tonight. So I did, I went out into the front yard with my cell phone in my back pocket, and started looking up at the sky when I realized there were no stars, but there was snow falling down around me, and it was a beautiful night, so I turned on some worship music on my phone ("Good Good Father", and then "No Longer Slaves") and just started worshiping God. I spent probably 30 minutes or outside just worshiping and talking to God and dancing in the snow, and came back in and realized that was the most relaxed, the least exhausted I'd been since being back in the States. I went back into the house when I was done, stood by the wood stove to warm up and texted my friend back saying that I had accepted his challenge to do something I'd wanted to do, and upped it by doing it that night instead of waiting, and telling him just how much I needed that night and thanked him for challenging me.

A lot has happened in the last few weeks. I've started back at Taco Time working. I've moved back to La Grande. I've started back at my church, and my old Youth Group...I've started to try and figure out where I "fit" again. Trying to work the pieces back together to take the next step towards where God wants me for this next chapter of my life. But in the mean time I've also come to realize that sometimes you just need to go into the darkness of the night, to let things out, to have a good long talk with God, to let him show you what he wants, what he needs. And sometimes when you go into that darkness, you walk out of the darkness with a new perspective.

So I challenge you....I challenge you to go and do something you want to do that you've never done... I challenge you to take something from your I'll do this in the future list and do it now...don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today...step out into the darkness of the unknown, of the I want to do this but I'm scared to try it, and do it...because you never know what might happen. For me stepping outside into the darkness resulted in the best thirty minutes of my life in the last two weeks and gave me more energy then I would have expected to keep on going. It gave me the energy I needed to be able to enjoy that time by myself.

What's your darkness? What is that one thing you need/want to do? GO AND DO IT!

Thank You and Goodbye (An Open Letter to 4th Gen D-Squad).

A/N: This is my final blog entry from my 2016 World Race blog deidrapeters.worldrace.org; if you would like to know more about my journey as a missionary in 2016 feel free to go to that blog and find out more. I will more than likely be referencing that year throughout this blog. 

Dear D-Squad, 

Well here it is. The end of not only my blog but our time together. We've been home, back in the states for a week now. Some of us have actually been in our states for that long, some of you since thanksgiving, and Shannon...we'll you've got a few more weeks. But the truth is still the same, we're no longer 34 missionaries split among five teams across one country, we're now 34 missionaries split among 33 teams (Ethan and Bethany count as one, we all know it) across one country for now, soon enough it will be across the world as Tammy heads back out to Asia, and Maria starts the process of heading back to Argentina and the rest of us decide where we want to be the States or someplace else. 

I can't believe how fast the 2016 year flew by. I can't believe it's been more than a year since we all met at training camp for the first time. I MISS YOU ALL so much.  

This last week as been great being back home, seeing family I haven't seen in ages some as long as a decade ago; eating more food than I care to admit...going on a shopping spree to get clothes that actually fit, sorting through all my old clothes to donate those I no longer need. Sleeping in a warm bed that I could guarantee wasn't going to fall through on me while I slept, flushing toilets, electricity (although I woke up to none on Thanksgiving), knowing that there should be toilet paper when I walk into a public restroom and so much more. This week has been great...but at the same time as I've gone through this week I couldn't help but think about you.

In the moments of quiet, I  realized just how quiet, quiet can be without five other people around at all times, and how quiet can really be without 34 other people around. Church was good, it was nice being in an English service, but the worship just wasn't the same without you all, it wasn't as....I don't even have the words to describe, it just wasn't the same. I miss having you all around for the feedback, for the time to process at night (Ironic I know, since I'm not a verbal processor); I miss the kick ass worship sessions at LDW and Debriefs, and always knowing that there is someone to do something with. I miss you all. 

But as much I miss you all, I know this...God brought us all together for a season of life, he knew we would need each other during the 2016 year, and he was right...but he also knew we would be going our separate ways at the end of the year to share him with others. But what's cool about going our separate ways is that we get to share HIM with so many more people, we get to take what we learned this year, not only from Him, and from the World but from each other and use it to better share Him with our Worlds, with our family, friends, community that we're creating. 

True, we may never 100% be together again, but that doesn't mean we're not still together at heart. It doesn't mean that we aren't still impacting each others lives; heck that's what Facebook, email, text, Instagram, etc.. are for...we may not talk everyday, or see each other for long amounts of time, but I KNOW each one of us would be there for any one of the people on our squad if they need us...whether it's someone you were super close to out on the field or not. Because only other racers can possibly know what we went through out there. 

I Love you all and want to say thank you. Thank you for teaching me about generosity, about love, about loving others and yourself, about intimacy with the lord. Thank you for teaching me about selflessness, about kindness, about hope, about trusting in the lord. Thank you for teaching me about letting people in, about learning to open up, about forgiveness, about trusting yourself, about self-awareness. Thank you...Thank you for trekking through the mountains of Chile with me, of walking alongside me as I learned to preach, to public speak, of hiking down a mountain in the Andes. Thank you, for teaching me a thousand silly songs, for the hours of standing beside me as we did music ministry in Thailand, as we did countless hours of children's ministry, as we figured out what Unsung Hero's looked like for us in Argentina. Thank you. Thank you for being men and women of God who taught me more about what men and woman of God look like. Thank you for patience as we all dealt with language barriers, and trying to figure our who we are, and our identity's in Christ. THANK YOU. 

These thanks' aren't just for D-Squad. But for our coaches, logistic leaders, Squad Mentor, and ASQL's as well. THANK YOU. 

As much as I could keep writing thank yous, and reliving this year the time has come to say Goodbye. Goodbye to our all-squad months; Goodbye to all-squad worship, to changing homes every month, to having set up sheets that are not helpful at all (R.A.M.S. never did make it to the jungle). Goodbye to having to figure out conversion rates, wondering if our clothes will dry in time for travel days. Goodbye to questionable food, and wondering if the water is safe enough to drink. Goodbye to hard feedback sessions, and team times that last hours upon hours (yes, Bravehearts' I'm talking to us)...Goodbye to the late night movie nights, to the can I borrow your headlamp to go the squatty, to crap I now have staff infection moments. Goodbye to the questionable medical care, and the why do I have to step over the chicken head to get the doctor. Goodbye to team budgets, and team phones. Goodbye to all the unknowns, and yet not because we're entering a whole new world of unknowns. Goodbye.

Thank you 4th Gen D-squad for be an awesome amazing group of men and women that I got to spend the 2016 year with, and Goodbye. I love you all.

Love, 

DEEDS